The Alternative to Processing

I just got off the phone with a woman who is part of the couple I’m working with. I’m training them in “The Play” (more on that in a second).

They had gotten into a spat lately, and they were trying to work it out the normal ways.

Talking it out. Processing it. Or, when that didn’t work, just trying to sweep it under the rug. All the things we do to try to maintain our connection with our partner, but at the end of the day, it wasn’t working for them, and they were stuck.

The Play is a way to “move the energy.” Because that’s what happens—we are stuck with our partner, and this is a way to take that trigger you have with them, and turn it into a fun, sexy game that turns both of you on.

Back to the couple. They decided they wanted to try The Play, so now they are going to learn how to navigate their challenges by using the Shadow. What do I mean by that?

It’s not about fighting.

And it’s not about holding back and trying to metabolize stuff on your own.

It’s about finding the place where you are turned-on by the dynamic.

Where you’re creating it because you love it.

Ok, so he’s being a resentful self-pitier…

Where is the place in you that gets turned-on by that?

Can’t find it?

You haven’t gone deep enough.

You haven’t found the nexus point where your frustration, turn-on, and play all meet.

That’s where the juice is.

That’s the place where you don’t need to ‘remember your tools.’

When you encounter the darkness, with practice, you immediately go to the shadow play, and transform the energy.

Once you can move the energy in this way, it will give you a huge sense of liberation.

That’s when you start to reach a new level in your relationship and break through the patterns.

The place where your deepest frustrations become the biggest turn-ons in your relationship.

That’s mastery.